I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
