Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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