just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
