A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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