Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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