Buhtt sex?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
