It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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