Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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