I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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