my mouth tastes like poor choices
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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