we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize