Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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