Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
