Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
