worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
