It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
