"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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