no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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