fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
