So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When did angry sex become our thing?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
