rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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