got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
