He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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