took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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