I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
