so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
