I didn't shave. On purpose
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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