Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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