i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am midnight drunk by noon
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize