6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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