Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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