I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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