i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
