we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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