We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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