I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
