My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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