All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
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Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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