just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
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i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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