I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he just fucked me for my cheese.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
