yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
