he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
