scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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