I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
