So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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