I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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