We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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