I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
soo... how was my night?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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