I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
