god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize