Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize