not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
