apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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