she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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