I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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