so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize