How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
