shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
