Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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