I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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