Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
