I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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