oh god the rape fog is back!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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