I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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