you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
