I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
