billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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